I wish that I had the answers for you and myself. Honestly, I don’t know what to do with the pain of disappointment, I can only share with you only what I know. And what I know is that you have to be honest in how you are feeling, with yourself and with God. So, many times I try to “act hard” and act as if things don’t break my spirit, and all that is an act. I care and it angers me to work so hard and to live the life that I believe is pleasing to God…………… and get nowhere. It pains me to pray and work towards things, just to see others getting blessed with what you desire, when it seems like they are not even worthy of their blessing. That may sound harsh, but it’s the truth and as believers we have to be honest with ourselves and God. We need to scream out and ask him his reasoning when things seems wrong, only if it just makes us feel better to blow some steam . I have learned that it is no reason to hide our anger towards God, he is ALL KNOWING, we can’t hide it. So, I hope I witnessed to someone or even encouraged someone. I know the pain of disappointment is crippling, (I’m crippled today). I know that you want to have a pity party……..do so, but after, just get up and move full force ahead. No need to give up, because life is worth living and trust me, the pain gets less intense each day although it may never go away completely. I love you and be encouraged.