Love Diaries: The Way He Treats You

love signs

 

Okay, so I was conversing with a co-worker/friend (I know what your thinking, do these two ever work instead of chatting all day)and she was venting (and complaining) about how are man treats her.  All I hear was “he did this” and “he did that”, and “girl, he had the nerve to do that when I do all of this!”  And, even though he was dead wrong for his constant unfaithfulness; she holds some responsiblity in the situation.  See, the way I see it is, that the problem is with her and not him.  She is the problem because she enables his bad habits.  Time and time again, she accepts his cheating and refuse to make him accountable for his actions.  I believe if she put her foot down (or in his ass) and let him know that they won’t be together until he discovers and changes what urges him to find comfort in other people.  I do think that at times, we as women are afraid to be alone.  We are afraid of sleeping in the bed alone at night; we are afraid to attend social events, solo; and we are afraid to be without “The Stick” or the thought of another woman getting “The Stick” (That’s why we have sexual toys ladies, even my married sisters have to keep one!). 

Then my friend proposed a serious question, “What can I do to make him treat me better, like the queen that I am.”  It took every ounce in me to say, YOU are the reason why her treats you like “Sugar Honey Ice Tea”, but I did share some of my wisdom from my mistakes in relationships.  First, I pointed out to her that women who seem to treat men with a FIRM hand, tend to get the good men.  I told her she needs to say what the “you feel in the blanks’ you mean and mean what you say.  Let him know that you won’t take his foolishness and that you can and will find someone who knows how to treat a lady.  That brings me to my second point, you have to know how to pick them.  Ladies, we know by the first month if a man is worth anything.  If he doesn’t have a job and doesn’t intend to get one; if he is STREET; if he does nothing but make late night trips to your house; if he borrows money within days of knowing you; if he have over four kids with four different baby mommas, and the list goes on…………… you probably didn’t find a winner.  Choose someone who  knows how to treat a woman and is willing to learn.  Some men just have not been taught how to lovingly care for a female, but has a heart to want to know and tries his very best to do just that.  Lastly, when you meet that one who is worth his weight and gold, treat him like a king because you want to be treated like his queen.  Make him feel useful and encourage him by appreciating his efforts and by verbally saying just that. 

In conclusion, if you don’t like the way your man is treating you………. then treat yourself well and get out of an abusive relationship (And abusive just doesn’t mean physical abuse; cheating is emotionally abuse because it makes you look at yourself and wonder what you are lacking).  If you feel deep in your heart that he will never get his act together, then he probably never will.  Love him and yourself enough to let him go and learn how to be that man who you both deserve. Ladies, let me know how you feel about this one!

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