Love Diaries: When The Love Just Wasn’t Real

I receive a lot of emails about questions about love and in response to my “Love Diaries”.  One that stands out is, how do you get over a person that you are in love with?  Or they tell me their specific stories to ultimately ask me, do you think that this is love?  So, today I want to address a topic that is burning a hole in people’s heart and close to mine, accepting that the person in whom you was in love with, just wasn’t in love with you.  Or they just didn’t love you. 

Well. In my specific situation, the guy just simply didn’t feel as strongly as I did, and with women; we feel like we can change a man.  If we do certain things and pamper him; that he wouldn’t have any other choice but to fall in love………. That’s deception.  If a man is not feeling you from the beginning, that’s our red flag.  Don’t you think that you are too intelligent, caring, lovable, and too beautiful of a person to be dealing with a partner who treats you less than your worth…………Of course!  I know that it’s the hardest thing to except that the person who you put at the top of your list, puts you at the bottom, but it has to come a time for you to want to heal from all the emotional abuse that you have endured.

Okay, so you say that this man/woman is consistently telling you he is in love with you even though you know in your heart that they don’t or their actions just don’t prove it  ………… what then?  Look, men has something called an EGO (didn’t Beyonce talk about it!).  And even though it can compliment a man, it also makes PUNKS desperate.  In, my experience the man I was with had low self esteem and I felt like he fed off the fact that someone was finally paying him some attention, and in some strange way he was making me pay for all the hurt that someone else had put on him.  I believe that it made him feel good that he could hurt someone like he was hurting.  It wasn’t until I realized that he wasn’t good enough for me, that I just had to move on.  I had to be strong enough to say goodbye before he depleted me of any hope for some other man to love me right, strong, and hard., He wasn’t worth my weight in gold……….. So, it was on to the next one!  And, the next one put a ring on it and gave me a beautiful family. 

So, the moral of the story is that when love turns out to be dust………. Sweep it under the carpet and keep it moving.  Sometimes love just doesn’t work and the pain of losing it (even if it wasn’t love on the other party’s part) is unbearable.  But understand this; the right person is out there.  No, he/she will not be perfect, but their love will be genuine.  That’s truly my testimony, I have been in a couple bad relationships; but God smiled on me when I met my husband.  He is not perfect, but he gives me everything he has; he loves me for my beauty and even the ugly parts of me; he is my best friend.  And the most important factor, I don’t have to worry about his love changing and that’s what you (all of us deserve).  So, if love turns into nothing, let it be the fuel that keeps the right relationship going or your quest to find it. 

Please continue to send me questions that you want my opinion on to my email, ( if you don’t want it on the blog.  I respect your privacy.  And if you are not shy, you are welcomed to leave all comments, questions, and concerns on the blog.  God bless.


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