Love Diaries: Is It Possible To Love Without Having Trust?

 

Okay, so I’m having this interesting conversation with my good friend and of course love came up!  So, the topic was trust in a relationship, but not the “trust” that threatens most relationships.  We wasn’t talking about the “stalking your every move; looking through your cell phone; calling back unknown numbers; or accusing you of wanting the grocery clerk because you was staring to long and hard” kind of trust.  We were talking about the trust that knowing the one that you are with will always love you unconditionally.  The kind of trust that you don’t have to question if your spouse wants you.  The kind of trust that you believe without a shadow of any doubt that your partner will love and stick by you no matter what happens or mistakes you make.  So, when she asked me the question; I realized that my definition of love didn’t include that kind of trust…………I’ll explain.

See, I was raised to never trust anyone(or just had enough bad relationships); that the closest person to you is capable of betraying you.  I also believed that there was no one out their, who would love me beyond and pass  my own personal struggles.  I mean, what man in his right mind would keep loving me with all the things that I have done or when I consistently pushed him away.  It’s not like I meant to push him away, in my own twisted mind, I was testing him.  I figured if I kept giving him reason to leave, that eventually he would show his true colors and leave; proving to me that he never loved me or he didn’t have what it took to be around and stay around.  And unfair as this was; there was one who endured that harsh reality and today we are married, together for ten years. 

So, admitting my struggle to trust made me questioned was it possible to truly love someone with a severe lack of trust and I came up with………………… yes.  You can be capable of loving someone, but the guard that you put up definitely strains the relationship.  That fact that your heart won’t totally be acceptable to their love and totally opened to your partner is naturally bounded to weaken the relationship (or even ruin it and then you let the good one get away); but I do believe if that person really loves you, that they will endure the fight.  That they could find the patience and strength to keep loving you pass all your baggage and willing to stay there until it has shed.

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